I miss her…

…badly ! 😦

Few years back as I stepped into the college, the first girl from my batch, whom I came across was She…a slender figure, big eyes, sharp features, tender lips and a very lovely smile…
Though we weren’t classmates but somehow we shared a chemistry..!
We both could never enjoy the chit-chats with the gal gangs…and this was how we came really close to be the best of friends ever…

She was the sweetest girl I had ever met.. Hardworking, helping, very caring, emotional, practical and forgiving…I thank the college days for giving me the company of this lovely lady..

We would stay up late just to talk to each other..we could talk endlessly on anything around..never had a meal without her since the day i came to know her…We would skip the dinners just to avoid the seniors and cook maggi and coffee at half past 1 in the night to fill our craving tummies… Everything was so much fun with her… Whether the ups or the downs of life, we would be with each other forever…….

But then, destiny had her own rude plans…
August 2003, we had gone on the college vacation… We all returned college as per the plans but she didnt.. 23rd was her birthday.. I was so sure that she would come and we would all have a grand celebration…. I had decorated our room with balloons, paper strips…some gifts on her bed…. but she didnt come….. Finally I called at her place….Nobody answered….Then another number…finally it was her mom…. She told me that my dear friend was very sick and could not talk…..
I was taken aback…!
Those were the days when the mobile phone was not too popular or easy to afford..The only means of connecting were the local PCO booths…

I would call up her mom at least twice a day to find out if she was getting better or when she would be coming…

26th Aug 2003, I called her up…..Her maternal uncle took the call…..and with a breaking voice he said..”she’s no more…she passed away a few mins back………..”

I couldn’t say a word…….and then I broke into tears…. I had never seen death so closely…

After a few hours I got a call from her mom…She was crying bitterly….I wiped off my tears and tried to console her.. She had called to tell me that the last thing that my friend spoke in the ICU was that she wanted to talk to me to which her mom had said that they will call me and make us talk once she gets better…. tears were running down my cheeks and I was still so unable to believe everything….

I don’t know what I was upto but for sure I believed and I still believe that she’ll come back some day and push me hard for not speaking to her for so long…. I somehow still believe that this was just a nightmare and like everything this shall pass too………
I can still feel her presence around and I still feel like talking to her….

She had Leukemia (Blood Cancer)…Her parents, her elder sister and her uncle all were doctors but the monster called Cancer did not give any of them a chance to save her…….I wish there was a cure…n I’ll be really glad when we have a proper one in place…. I lost my friend in a matter of less than a week from when she was detected the prey to the disease…..

Since that day, I have always feared to make friends coz I feel that whenever I have a close friend destiny takes him/her away from me………and now I really dont wanna lose any single being in my life…….

Some losses are so irrepairable… I miss her a lot……


~ by Neha Sinha on January 12, 2010.

5 Responses to “I miss her…”

  1. heart breaking to loose such a friend like this way !… from personal experience, such passing leaves a lasting impression of how mortal we are.

    Btw is this a page from your up coming bestseller ?? 🙂

    • @Sam: Yeah… Life makes us all realise our mortality once in a while….

      ..and ‘Bestseller’ 😀 who knows 😉 … but definitely it cannot go on air without a mention of ‘her’ !

  2. Thanks for sharing your story, Neha. I hope you found the strength to plough through life’s hardest patches. But do not get discouraged and shy from meeting new friends….for unless one ventures, he wouldn’t gain anything. Nothing but change lasts forever….

    • Thanks Biju…
      I do make friends n i dont shy away from the truths of life anymore…
      But few things are just difficult to believe and hard to forget…. 😦

      The biggest fear of my life is losing the loved ones….. 😦

  3. […] Aug: It’s her b’ day today.. I miss her badly.. 7 Years back this day I had decorated ‘our room’ with […]

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