Random Outbursts and the 10 day challenge….Day 3, 8 Fears!

…So to start with, did u yet not hear about what happened last evening in Mumbai ?
It’s that time of the year again when Mumbai is shaken, when mumbaikars or in general all India puts up a brave face to terrorism.. It is yet another time of the year when the failures of the top authorities of this nation are exposed, yes, yet again !! My heart goes out to the fellas who lost their precious lives, who got injured for the rest of their lives and their families……. We see everyone saluting the spirit of mumbai, the resilient indians…..and everytime I hear about it, I wanna scream out loud to these pathetic people who dare to feel so less of the life of a common indian..that “BLOODY HELL !! WE TOO HAVE BOMBS, MORE FEIRCE THAN YOURS, AND YES THEY CAN BLOW AWAY GENERATIONS OFF YOUR LAND” !!! I know that the common mob at the other end would despise these acts too…but for now..I am angry and frustrated !

On the second note, I received the annual appraisal letter today. Something that didnt really turn me mad but at least left me disappointed for a big part of the day. I had given in my best all the year round and then I get a meagre raise with a lot of appreciation in a closed cabin that my company values me a lot !!
And while all this is going on in my head… a heartless manager asks me..”So, how do you feel.. happy or sad or frustrated?” ..What the H*** !! What does she expect me to answer…?? With a straight face, all I could manage to say was “NOTHING” ! Yes, Nothing is what I feel now… Not happy, not sad and definitely not frustrated…. I am just irritated !! And would love to be left alone for sometime…..Thats all !

Ok… so lets go on to the 10 Day Challenge, the 8 Fears for the third day …

1. LOSING MY LOVED ONES – Yes that tops my list.. Even the mere thought of it gives me goosebumps !

2. FALSE FRIENDSHIPS – I despise any relation that is not true, especially friendships that are built upon mean intentions leave me shattered.

3. NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK OR EXPRESS – Yes, I am hell scared of any moment if I’d not be able to express myself or speak.. what would my life be then😦

4. I often get this dream ever since my childhood where I see a house, a temple and a totally different life… then I am travelling in a train and while the train crosses tha bridge there’s a major accident and I am trying to save someone and everything finishes… I wake up sweating everytime I get this nightmare… I dont believe in rebirths or alike, but my mom sometimes jokingly says that it might be my past life.

5. I am really afraid whenever I think of the next world war ! :O No, not kidding, I really am ! More so coz this would be the first that I’d witness. I hate the thought of innocent lives losing and the massacre that it would be… I hope that day never arrives.

6. I fear that I may not be able to provide the best to my kid(s).. I want the best for them in all possible situations.

7. I hate flies, mosquitoes, fruit flies, cockroaches, lizards, reptiles and all their brothers and sisters. And when I say I hate them, I really HATE THEM ! Fear is out of question as long as I have a vaccumm cleaner. It is efficient enough to such them all up🙂

8. The last but definitely not the least, I fear my increasing weight😦 I am really scared to death to think of a day when I might even burst like a balloon…. !

So those are my biggest fears. Tomorrow would be 7 Wishes😀 Till then, C Ya !! Stay Safe, Stay Careful.

~ by Neha Sinha on July 14, 2011.

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